Being a good parent, I believe, is one of the most difficult and stressful endeavors there is. The problem is, we do not have a school where we learn how to be a parent. We usually just do what we observed our parents doing when we were small children. It is very difficult for a parent to separate love from discipline. We all love our children dearly, but if we allow them to do everything they want we are doing a great disfavor to them. Children need to be disciplined and if we do not do it, they believe that you do not really love them.

I believe that the first ten or twelve years are the easiest, even though at the age of two children really put parents to the test. When they reach the teenage years a whole new set of disciplines are necessary. They become a little bit mature and think that they know better than the parents. They also have the influence of their peers, which to them is more important that the parents. Great problems may arise from decisions they make without letting you know.

When the children reach the age where they want to get a husband (or wife), we parents want them to get the “right” one. The best advice I got was from my father. He said: “It is very important to know the boyfriend’s (or girlfriend’s) parents! Usually all of us in a way are a product of our parents!” So true. Of course, our children will choose they one who want and the advice may or may not make an impact on their brains! Good luck!

Eventually the children get married and the wedding is a time of elation for the parents and the children and we wish them the best. After they have the first child is another time of enjoyment and elation and you enjoy your grandchildren. And the best part is, when they cry or they soil themselves, you give them back to their parents. So it is a nice feeling. If they have a successful marriage, it’s nice. You can visit them and they love to have you with them, and vice versa. But if the marriage breaks down, again you have a lot of pain and stress and you are powerless to do anything about it. (Go to my posting on DIVORCE to see the consequences of this.)

One of the best pieces of advice you can give your adult children is:   NEVER do anything that is illicit, immoral or illegal and when presented with a dilemma ALWAYS do what is right!  Make sure they remember this or remind them often.