The great majority of people do not like to talk about death.  Usually “other” people die.  All of us would like to live forever, except persons that are tired of living (old ones), the terminally ill, or ones with severe depression (they even commit suicide).  Psychologists believe that ones that do are in agonizing pain, physically or mentally.  There is no solution, except death. 

One of the great mysteries is that no one really knows what happens to us when we die.  Three thousand years ago the Egyptians believed that the dead were on a trip and they were provided with food for the voyage. 

At the present time, Christians believe that if they were “good” they will go to heaven to be in total bliss for eternity. The people that were not good while alive will go to hell for eternal punishment!  Either concept does not make sense.  Why?  Because our limited intelligence is not capable of understanding “eternity” a trillion trillion years – which in reality is just a mere nanosecond. 

Other religions believe that we reincarnate forever and ever until we attain perfection.  In relation to what?  They do not know.  

In the last book of the Bible, John the writer had the vision of the new earth and heaven on earth in which the saved ones will live for “ever” in perfect harmony!  It is hard to believe that people could live in peace with one another.  Now even husband and  wife cannot live in peace,  the two people which are the simplest form of society!

In conclusion, the only ones that suffer pain, anguish, desperation are the ones that are left behind. More so the ones who take their own life. The only consolation we have is that we all have to die sometime. 

Lately as of today April 24  2021, I have come up with a “theory” that when we die we are transformed  into a spirit which is an essence of what we were when we were alive! But of course is only MY theory. Any comments would be very much appreciated. 

Love and hate are abstract concepts. To define what love is accurately is almost impossible. Why? Because for each person it has a different meaning. Most people will say that love is a feeling. Where?  In your heart ? In your mind? The heart cannot act by itself without getting your mind involved. For many people, giving gifts and material things such as money, very expensive jewelry, flowers, or loving cards is a demonstration of love. For others, it’s sweet talk, affection, compliments, encouragements, compassion, and sympathy, etc.etc. Saying to the loved one that he or she makes one happy is also a good sign of love. For some women, the expression of love is to give their body to the man they love without realizing that men will take advantage and will not return the love that women expect.

In the Bible, Jesus mentions that there is no greater sign of love for another person than to give your own life for the other. He himself  gave his life for us!  In our world, very few people are willing to give their own life to protect others, and the ones who have done have done it during times of war, mostly because they had to.

Still, my own definition of love is to do things for the one you love. To help in any way or form to make the loved one’s life less stressful or more pleasant is quite important to me, more so  than any other form of love.  Of course I believe that words of affection are also important, but not as important as doing things.

On the negative side, when the person we love does not reciprocate and rejects us, our love flies out the window.  And for some people, feelings quickly turn from love to hate.

Talking about hate, it’s easier to express hate for others.  Fortunately, hate stays within ourselves, unless we insult the person, reject the person, or perform some other harmful act which brings consequences.  People who out of hate kill a person will end up in jail.  A form of hate is also verbal abuse, demeaning, condescending, but it has to be purposely so, such as calling names, harsh criticism, etc.  But fortunately, I can only speak for myself –  I have never hated anyone.  Maybe I don’t like some people, but in doing so I am only harming myself.

Some people express hate to others by wishing them all kinds of misfortunes, sickness, even they wish they were dead! Those wishes stay with themselves and accomplish absolutely nothing!

To summarize, I believe that true love is doing the best thing for yourself and others, regardless of who they are or what they are.  That’s it.

It’s very hard to talk about these issues due to the fact that poverty and poor people have always existed since the beginning of times.  I believe it is almost like a mystery.  The reasons to be poor are the following: 

1. mental issues
2. genetic makeup which includes laziness, lack of ambition, lack of education, and lack of self esteem
3. tragedy, hardships, the loss of a mate or a partner or physical sickness

I do not believe there is a cure for poverty.  At this point I believe there are no solutions.  Of course there are solutions, you say.  You can put people to work.  But on the other hand, there are people that want to claim disability, either real or those who falsely claim it and think they can get out of working by doing so.  These leeches on society also include those who go to charitable organizations, including churches, expecting a free handout.  If you believe I am wrong, please feel free to send me your comments.

I do not advocate either stance on abortion. I believe that the decision to end a pregnancy is strictly a woman’s prerogative. No one has the right to tell her what to do. The religious people think they are doing them a favor and making points with God, but they are wrong. They have no understanding that a woman who somehow is forced to have a baby could be unfit or unable to take care of the child. Helping them temporarily for a few week or months is not enough. Could they take care of the mother and baby for many years? Are they aware of the time and money needed to invest on a person for shelter, food, clothing, education? It will be a great cost that only a few people could afford!

As for the religious view, no one can help the soul or spirit of an aborted fetus. Do they go to heaven, or are they orphans? If so, if they become an adult spirit or soul wouldn’t they hate that they were rejected by the mother? Think about this!

Very few people think about how they would feel if someone demeaned, belittled, or pointed out their mistakes,(even if they believe they’re justified) the way they do to other people. If people would think about this before engaging in such behavior, everyone would get along much better. This would prevent unnecessary conflicts and ill feelings towards others. This would stop wars and disagreements. The next time you feel like criticizing or belittling anyone, think how would you feel if someone else spoke to you that way.

Human beings were created as sexual beings.  I believe that the biggest crime that can be committed against a human being is to deny them of their sexuality ie., celibacy.  I think it is immoral, illicit, illegal, sinful and just plain stupid.  According to Sigmund Freud, a very prominent psychologist,  the two strongest drives in a human being’s life are- one, self-preservation and two, sex.  Certain Church leaders should read this – they might learn something.

One of the ways to solve problems is to acquire an education about the specific item you are having a problem with. For example, if you are having problems with the A/C in your home, before you call a technician, learn that the majority of a/c problems are due to the electrical system and usually they are not that costly to fix. You can apply the same method for all the appliances in your home. For your car, it may require more study. But if you get an education about it there will be less chance that you will be ripped off by an unscrupulous a/c technician or automobile mechanic.

In the same manner, when problems arise with people in general, the best way to maybe help solve the problem is to learn the background of the person. Usually, genetics and upbringing play a very critical role in the way people behave. The more you know about a person’s background the easier it will be to tolerate or understand the problem.

Being a good parent, I believe, is one of the most difficult and stressful endeavors there is. The problem is, we do not have a school where we learn how to be a parent. We usually just do what we observed our parents doing when we were small children. It is very difficult for a parent to separate love from discipline. We all love our children dearly, but if we allow them to do everything they want we are doing a great disfavor to them. Children need to be disciplined and if we do not do it, they believe that you do not really love them.

I believe that the first ten or twelve years are the easiest, even though at the age of two children really put parents to the test. When they reach the teenage years a whole new set of disciplines are necessary. They become a little bit mature and think that they know better than the parents. They also have the influence of their peers, which to them is more important that the parents. Great problems may arise from decisions they make without letting you know.

When the children reach the age where they want to get a husband (or wife), we parents want them to get the “right” one. The best advice I got was from my father. He said: “It is very important to know the boyfriend’s (or girlfriend’s) parents! Usually all of us in a way are a product of our parents!” So true. Of course, our children will choose they one who want and the advice may or may not make an impact on their brains! Good luck!

Eventually the children get married and the wedding is a time of elation for the parents and the children and we wish them the best. After they have the first child is another time of enjoyment and elation and you enjoy your grandchildren. And the best part is, when they cry or they soil themselves, you give them back to their parents. So it is a nice feeling. If they have a successful marriage, it’s nice. You can visit them and they love to have you with them, and vice versa. But if the marriage breaks down, again you have a lot of pain and stress and you are powerless to do anything about it. (Go to my posting on DIVORCE to see the consequences of this.)

One of the best pieces of advice you can give your adult children is:   NEVER do anything that is illicit, immoral or illegal and when presented with a dilemma ALWAYS do what is right!  Make sure they remember this or remind them often.

Most headaches are caused by the lack of oxygen going to the brain. Instead of taking a pain killer you must try this breathing technique first. Using a watch with a readable second hand, time your inhale time. It must be very slow and continuous. It should be about five or more seconds. Repeat this technique three times. Breathe normally for one minute and then repeat the entire sequence. After nine repetitions, your headache should be gone. If it doesn’t go away, breathe normally for five minutes and then repeat the nine repetitions again.

There seems to be an epidemic of divorce.  I believe that over 60 percent of couples eventually get divorced.  Too high.  In my opinion, there are only a few reasons why people get divorced:

1)  cheating (extramarital affairs)

2)  lack of acceptance and intolerance

3)  addiction, vices, and mistreatment and abuse

4)  lack of communication

5)  money issues

6) in-law or relative issues

A couple that decides to divorce for any of the above reasons will be extremely lucky and guiltless if there are no children.  People with children have no clue of the effect their divorce produces on their offspring.  For the younger ones which have no real understanding, him or her think they are OK.  Even for adult children, they do not approve of their parents splitting.  When younger children of divorce mature, they will definitely have serious problems with relationships and the parents won’t know what is happening to them because they thought it was OK when they were young.  Also, a divorce will force the offspring to take sides.  They cannot say that my father and my mother are OK and they just don’t like each other.  The worst thing a parent can do is bad-mouth the ex.  So, unfortunately, this is the reality of life and there is no magic cure or solution.    Counseling seldom if ever works.  There is no practical advice to give to people who want to get divorced.  It is hard to reconcile once their minds are made up.
The most important question they have to answer to themselves is this: “Am I better off with him (or her), or without him (or her)”, and after a careful consideration, act accordingly.

When divorced people find another person, and they want to get married to them, it would be a good idea to analyze the baggage each one of them has. Usually blended families have a great percentage of failure due to the fact that the new husband or wife will prefer their own children to the relationship to the wife or husband and that will cause resentment in one or both of them with no solution in sight. Divorced men or women will carry that stigma with them for the rest of their life.

Finally, the parents WILL SUFFER eventually through the children even though the divorce happened many years ago. There will be no escape from suffering.

BESIDES all the above, let’s not forget that the divorced person will have to pay alimony, child support and all the medical bills that the children may have until the offspring are 18 years old!